We’ve all been there: you’re doing your work, get stuck, and need help — but you’re worried about bothering your coworkers or asking an obvious question.

When I asked over 500 professionals across industries and job types what they struggle with most at work for my book The Unspoken Rules, I heard the same anxiety repeatedly: asking for help. At best, you make yourself vulnerable to others’ judgments; at worst, you look incompetent or lazy. Luckily, as I also discovered from my research, there is a better way. Let’s unpack what this looks like and sounds like.

Do your homework.

The first step to asking for help isn’t to ask — it’s to confirm if your question is worth asking. This means doing your homework.

First, picture three concentric circles. The innermost circle represents what you currently know.

The middle circle represents what you don’t currently know but can figure out yourself. Any question that sits within this middle circle is a “bad” question. These are the questions that make people think, Oh, come on… I found the answer in 10 seconds online.

The outermost circle represents what you don’t know and can’t learn by yourself, and therefore can only learn by asking. Any question that sits within this circle is a good question. These are the questions you want to ask.

If you are asking a question such as “what does X mean?” (where there is a right or wrong answer), try looking for the answer yourself by searching online and digging through your inbox, team folder, and company intranet. The idea isn’t to open every last file or email or visit every website; it’s to do what you can yourself so that you make the most of your precious time with others.

You will have generally done enough homework if you can be sure that the answer hasn’t already been shared with you, can’t be found in an obvious place, and isn’t waiting for you on the first page of a Google search. If you can find an answer you are confident is correct during your digging, then no need to ask your question. If you can’t, then it makes sense to ask.

If you are asking a question such as “what do I do next?” or “how do I do this?” (where there isn’t always a “right” or “wrong” answer — only “better” or “worse” approaches), brainstorm multiple options and identify the one where the pros most outweigh the cons. Pretend as if you don’t have anyone to ask for help. What options would you consider — and which of the options would you choose? One option is to try and complete the following sentence for your situation: “I could try [option A], [option B], or [option C]. Given [these reasons], [option B] makes the most sense.” If you can identify an option that is clearly superior to the others and is a decision you can make without impacting other people, then no need to ask your question either — you just found the approach that others would have suggested anyways. If you can’t, then it makes sense to ask.