Here is another selection of insights (and outsights) from a very observant man, Steven Wright.
o When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child.
o I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
o If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
o I have an existential map. It has “You are here” written all over it.
o I bought some instant water one time but I didn’t know what to add to it.
o I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
o I’m going to get an MRI to find out whether I have claustrophobia.
o I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
o Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
o Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time… I think I’ve forgotten this before.
o I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
o If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
o My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
o I live on a one-way street that’s also a dead end. I’m not sure how I got there.
o For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier… I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
o Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
o All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
o I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
o Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
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To learn more about Steven Wright, please click here.
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