What to do if you found yourself riding a dead horse?

If a major consulting firm were retained to conduct a comprehensive study of the situation, for a substantial fee, what would its recommendations be?

1. Buy a stronger whip.
2. Change riders.
3. Threaten the horse with termination.
4. Appoint a committee to study the horse.
5. Arrange to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lower the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Appoint an intervention team to reanimate (incent?) the horse.
8. Create a training session to increase the rider’s load share.
9. Reclassify the horse as “living impaired.”
10. Change the form so that it reads, “This horse is not dead.”
11. Hire outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
12. Harness several dead horses together to increase speed.
13. Donate the dead horse to a prominent charity, thereby deducting its full original cost.
14. Provide additional funding to increase the horse’s performance.
15. Conduct a time management study to see if lighter riders would improve productivity.
16. Purchase an after-market product to make dead horses run faster.
17. Declare that a dead horse has lower overhead and therefore greater ROI.
18. Form a quality focus group to find profitable uses for dead horses.
19. Rewrite the expected performance requirements for horses.
20. Promote the dead horse to a supervisory position.

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