The wit and wisdom of Larry David

Born July 2, 1947, in Brooklyn, New York, Larry David is an American comedian, writer, actor, director, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television sitcom Seinfeld, on which David was head writer and executive producer for the first seven seasons. He gained further recognition for the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he created and stars in as a semi-fictionalized version of himself. He has written or co-written the stories of every episode since its pilot episode in 1999.

It is a challenge for most people to understand the mindset of humorists such as Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, and Larry David who seem to have achieved their success with a combination of cynicism, skepticism, narcissism, and insecurity. His net worth is estimated to be at least $400 million US and steadily increasing.

Here’s a selection of David’s observations.

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I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

Once I know people know who I am, it gives me a lot of license and freedom to behave in ways I wouldn’t normally.

Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn’t involve a woman.

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.

I think we’re all good and bad, but good’s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

I don’t think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It’s not even interesting to me.

I don’t take on big things. What I do, pretty much, is make the big things small and the small things big.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

I’ve led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.

I’ve been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don’t need to know anymore.

When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about half an inch wide.

I couldn’t be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War.

I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic.

Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I’m very casual about it.

I gave a funny speech at my wife’s birthday party, and I’m thinking, “Hey, I’ve still got it.”

I’m a walking, talking enigma.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis.

I’m not quite as anonymous as I was.

Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I’m Jewish.

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m deaf and I try to imagine what it’s like not to be able to hear them. It’s not that bad.

I think that what people imagine they’re going through is much worse than what they are going through.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I’m surprised there’s not Golf Anonymous.

I’m not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There’s no closure.

I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.

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To learn more about Larry David’s life and work, please click here.

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