The Unique and Compelling Wisdom of Will Rogers

Rogers, WillWill Rogers died in a 1935 plane crash. He was one of the most popular social commentators the United States has ever known.

Some of his sage advice:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:

o The ones that learn by reading.
o The few who learn by observation.
o The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.

12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

About growing older….

o Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
o The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
o Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
o When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
o You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
o I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
o One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.
o One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
o Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
o Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.

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