Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection
Christian Van Nieuwerburgh and Robert Biswas-Diener
Berrett-Koehler Publishers (March 2025)

“There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.” Simon Sinek

Long ago, I realized that because I have two eyes and two ears and only one mouth, I should spend at least 80% of the time observing and listening and no more than 20% talking. Of course, I do not always follow that simple guideline. Who does? But it makes abundant sense nonetheless.

In Radical Listening, Christian Van Nieuwerburgh and Robert Biswas-Diener recommend six core skills that you need in order to master what they characterize as “radical listening.” They devote a separate chapter to each. With all due respect to actively attentive listening, Van Nieuwerburgh and Biswas-Diener propose “an alternative approach that builds on traditional active listening but extends it in dynamic ways. We present a simple but powerful framework for listening that includes attention to a listener’s motivation as well as to both the mental and behavioral aspects of listening.”

You are probably wondering, “What’s so radical about this so-called ‘art of true connection’?”

“First, what makes this approach radical is the notion that the starting point for listening is to be clear about your intention as the listener. Intentionality is what distinguishes listening from hearing…Next, Radical Listening differs from other approaches to listening in its understanding of what is occurring. [In contrast with conventional thinking], our approach suggests that listening is one of the most effective ways of strengthening relationships and creating opportunities. It replaces the concept of ‘information’ with that of ‘connection’…Finally, Radical Listening is not passive. It is tempting to think of listening as a reactive act: receiving sounds. Active listening disputes this by suggesting that listeners can check for comprehension by repeating or clarifying what a speaker says. Radical Listening builds on this by adding even more skills such as asking follow-up questions.”

Sinek speaks to a common mistake made during a conversation: Concentrating on what you will say next rather than listening to what someone else is now saying. Track down and check out a routine by Bob (Elliot) and Ray (Goulding) — “The Komodo Dragon” — that illustrates this mistake to comic effect.

I commend Christian Van Nieuwerburgh and Robert Biswas-Diener on Radical Listening. Their “simple but powerful framework” makes a substantial and invaluable contribution to thought leadership in a field that has been neglected and underappreciated until now.