Here is an excerpt from an article written by Marshall Goldsmith for Talent Management magazine. To read the complete article, check out all the resources, and sign up for a free subscription to the TM and/or Chief Learning Officer magazines published by MedfiaTec, please click here.

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If trust were something you could reverse engineer, what parts would you find inside?

We all live our lives on promises. From the time a child can grasp the concept of “cross my heart and hope to die,” there is a realization that anxiety can be reduced only through proof of trust while waiting for a promise to be kept.

The world of work has many forms of promises waiting to be kept. We recollect the power of trust when we see brand names that have attached guarantees — FedEx, Domino’s Pizza, Hampton Inn, Nordstrom and L.L. Bean, to name a few. And we sense its subtle power when the hotel finds our reservation, the newspaper is on the front porch, the bank statement is completely accurate, or mentors do exactly as they promise. Protégés are exactly like the youth in this familiar story.

Mentoring begins with a promise made or implied followed by a gap. The trust gap is the emotional space between hope and evidence, between expectation and fulfillment. Trust is the emotion that propels protégés to the other side of the gap. Insecurity and doubt are not required features of the trust gap. But requiring protégés to walk on the high wire of faith is clearly an inescapable component of every mentoring encounter. The journey across the high wire of faith is a trip with or without anguish, based only on the net of trust the mentor ensures is there to support passage.

There are many dimensions to managing the trust gap. A reputation as a promise keeper can help. Reminders can be communicated along the path that a promise made has not been forgotten. And there can be verbal and nonverbal cues that say to the protégé, “I am trustworthy — that is, worthy of your trust.”

Trust is a crucial commodity throughout a mentoring relationship. In fact, research shows that even if the mentor has terrific interpersonal skills, they count for naught without a high level of trust. Conversely, a mentor with only modest mentoring skills can be successful if the protégé experiences a high level of trust. But what is the nature of trust? If trust were something you could reverse engineer, what parts would you find inside?

[Here is the first of two key points that Goldsmith discusses.]

Trust starts with authenticity. We trust another when we perceive his or her motives to be genuine or credible. There are many ways you can demonstrate authenticity, especially at the beginning of the mentoring session.

Start with a pleasant facial expression. Greet your protégé like you are sincerely glad to see him or her. Communicate your enthusiasm for the privilege of mentoring and what it can mean for both of you. Look for a way to provide an early, honest compliment.

If you are feeling a bit anxious, say so, but in a fashion that helps build a bond. “I’m a bit overwhelmed by this mentoring assignment, but at the same time I’m excited about what we can accomplish together” is much preferred to “I’m really nervous, are you?”

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Here is a direct link to the complete article.

Marshall Goldsmith is an authority in helping leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. He is the author or co-editor of 32 books, including Managers as Mentors, with co-author Chip Bell. He can be reached at his website.

To check out a wealth of his resources, please click here.