Marshall Goldsmith asks, “Want to Change Behavior?”

Goldsmith, MarshallHere is an excerpt from an article written by Marshall Goldsmith for Talent Management magazine. He observes, “Whether it’s your own or an employee’s, patience and perseverance are key to the change process.” To read the complete article, check out all the resources, and sign up for a free subscription to the TM and/or Chief Learning Officer magazines published by MedfiaTec, please click here.

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Anne Lamott took the title for Bird by Bird, her wonderful book on writing, from one of her father’s teachable moments. She said:

“My older brother, who was 10 years old at the time, was trying to get a report written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day … and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father … put his arm around my brother’s shoulder and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.’”

The notion of rebuilding our spirit “bird by bird” provides us with enough psychic comfort that we can actually accomplish the toughest part of any creative endeavor: We can begin.

It’s a common anxiety I have experienced even with super-successful clients when they have to change their behavior. When I tell them it’s a process, they always think they can change in weeks.

I tell them, “It’s not about you. It’s about the people around you. They need 12 to 18 months to accept that you have changed.” That’s when the anxiety kicks in. They’re sure they can change, but not so sure others will see it.

Dealing with long-term processes such as changing behavior is like building a wall. You lay down one brick, then another; you’re aiming for serial achievements. To show people who you are now, you can’t rely on one-off gestures. They end up looking like stunts.

Imagine a rude co-worker who’s suddenly nice to you. The first time this happens you wonder, Huh? What got into him? The second time becomes a signal to pay attention. The third time a pattern begins to form in your mind. It’s only when the nice behavior is repeated a dozen or more times, without any flare-ups of rudeness, that you begin to accept the change is real.

If you provide people with continuity, however trivial or feeble, they will notice. When they see a pattern of repeat positive behavior, they begin to understand what you’re doing and accept a new you. This is how new reputations are rebuilt.

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To read the complete article, please click here.

Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders get even better – by achieving positive, lasting change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams. Every two years there is a global survey to determine the world’s top 50 business thinkers. In 2009 Marshall’s friend the late CK Prahalad was ranked #1 and Marshall was ranked #14. MOJO was released in February 2010. It is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal top ten best-seller – and the Shanghai Daily #1 business book in China.

He is one of only two educators who have won the Institute of Management Studies Lifetime Achievement Award. Major business press acknowledgments include: BusinessWeek ( most influential practitioners in the history leadership development), Wall Street Journal (top ten executive educators), Forbes (five most-respected executive coaches), Leadership Excellence (top five thinkers on leadership), Economic Times/India (top CEO coaches of America), The Economist/UK (most credible executive advisors in the new era of business), and Fast Company (America’s preeminent executive coach).

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