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Here is a brief excerpt from an article by Stew Friedman for Fast Conpany in which he explains how one performing artist proves that success can come as a consequence of, not at a cost to, family, community, and your private self. To read the complete article, check out others, and obtain subscription information, please click here.

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How did Bruce Springsteen get to where he is today: a globally adored artist, a proud father, and a catalyst for progressive social change? His has not been a quest for work-life balance but, rather, a continually evolving search for harmony among the different parts of his life.

You can’t have it all: Complete success in all the corners of your life, all at the same time. No one can. But, even though it can seem impossible, The Boss, and many others who’ve achieved greatness, prove that harmony among the different parts of life is attainable.

The most successful people harness the powers of the various aspects of their lives, bringing them together in the pursuit of what I call “four-way wins”–actions that result over the long haul in things like being better at work, at home, in the community, and for yourself. Skeptics, take heed: Anyone can do this. There are learnable skills that help you find ways to lead the life you want.

There are three principles that propel a life in harmony:

To be real is to act with authenticity by clarifying what’s important to you. It’s your answer to this basic question: What matters most to me?

To be whole is to act with integrity by recognizing how the different parts of your life affect each other. This means identifying who matters most to you at work, at home, and in the community; understanding what you need from each other; and seeing whether and how these needs mesh.

To be innovative is to act with creativity by experimenting with how things get done in ways that are good for you and for the people around you–taking realistic steps aimed at scoring four-way wins.

These principles come alive in skills you can practice every day, and Springsteen illustrates each of these skills.

He is true to himself, always.

In the confusing warp of fame and wealth, many rock stars forsake their values and fall prey to scandal, artistic stagnation, or early death. Springsteen is grounded by his musical mission, his family, his community of origin and the world community of fans he’s created. This has also allowed him to remain at heart the same down-to-earth Jersey guy he was before striking it big.

Rather than conforming to external pressures, Springsteen relies on his values to guide his behavior. He’s not afraid to speak his mind. People relate to his music and lyrics on such a deeply personal level because he is consciously striving to be true to himself–a struggle to which all can relate. Springsteen wasn’t born with the ability to give voice to the truth of his experience; it’s a skill he’s refined.

In the aftermath of 9/11, Springsteen struggled to come to terms with the horrifying attack. In a way that was even more explicit than his previous albums, in “The Rising” he produced songs to express the grief and hope he found in himself, his family, and his community. Not only was this a way to articulate what was important in all aspects of his life, it was a turning point for him because it put him on a path to becoming more directly involved in politics.

Springsteen has since grown more fervent in his appreciation of how important it is to take political stands rooted in his family, societal, and spiritual domains. He tries to be who he is, wherever he is.

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Here is a direct link to the complete article.

Since 1984, Stew Friedman has been at Wharton, where he is the Practice Professor of Management. In 1991 he founded both the Wharton Leadership Program – initiating the required MBA and Undergraduate leadership courses – and the Wharton Work/Life Integration Project. Stew served for five years in the mental health field before earning his PhD in organizational psychology from the University of Michigan. In 2001, he concluded a two-year assignment (while on leave from Wharton) at Ford, as the senior executive for leadership development. In partnership with the CEO, he launched a portfolio of initiatives to transform Ford’s culture; 2500+ managers per year participated. Following these efforts, a research group (ICEDR) hailed Ford as a “global benchmark” in leadership development.

Stew is the author of Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life and, more recently, of Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life (Oct 7, Harvard Business Review Press). This article has been adapted from it.