John Lowry is a recognized authority on negotiation through his experience as a lawyer, business consultant, entrepreneur, negotiation coach, and university administrator. His results-focused, systematic approach to negotiation has been successfully implemented
by thousands of professionals across the United States. Lowry teaches negotiation at the top ranked Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law and in Vanderbilt University’s Master’s in Management in Health Care program.
Lowry serves as CEO of Thrivence, a management consulting firm based in Nashville, TN. In addition to leading the firm, Dr. Lowry counsels clients on strategy, revenue growth, leadership development, and conflict management. He also serves as president of The Lowry Group, LLC (“TLG”). At TLG, he provides negotiation training andcoaching for governmental entities, major insurance companies, health care organizations, and other businesses. He writes and speaks extensively on negotiation and mediation advocacy.
Lowry is host of the Negotiation Made Simple podcast. In 2016, he was selected by Harvard Business School to participate in its Young American Leaders Program. Lowry was selected for the 2018 class of Leadership Tennessee. He is also an inductee of the Williamson County (TN) Business Hall of Fame.Lowry earned his bachelor’s degree in speech communications from Pepperdine University and master’s degree in religion from Abilene Christian University. He received his juris doctorate degree from Southern Methodist University’s Dedman School of Law. He has also completed graduate work in dispute resolution at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law and in public policy at California State University, Sacramento.
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For those who have not as yet read Negotiation Made Simple, hopefully your responses to these questions will stimulate their interest and, better yet, encourage them to purchase a copy and read the book ASAP. First, when and
why did you decide to write it?
I decided to write Negotiation Made Simple soon after my friend and bestselling author Donald Miller attended one of my negotiation trainings. He appreciated the content of the course and challenged me to turn it into a book. A few years later, I called him and told him I had written the book and he was totally surprised. He mentioned how he has talked to numerous people about writing a book, but very few of them had ever actually done it. I just decided to do it!
Negotiation Made Simple is written to help other people succeed. If you look on the side mirror of your vehicle, it will likely say “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.” I believe this is true when it comes to success. For many people, it is closer than it appears. All you have to do is use negotiation to capture and create more value and
success will come your way.
Were there any head-snapping revelations while writing it? Please explain.
The huge revelation was discovering how empathy is a critical negotiation skill. Empathy and negotiation are two skills that are not linked together all that often.
Empathy, however, plays a huge role in problem-solving and influencing people. People who are empathetic are better negotiators and ultimately more successful. For this reason, I dedicated an entire chapter in Negotiation Made Simple to the role of empathy in negotiation.
To what extent (if any) does the book in final form differ significantly from what you originally envisioned?
Negotiation Made Simple is designed to be very practical. That was the idea from the beginning. This book was written for the busy professional who needs to master the art of the negotiation, but doesn’t have time to dig deep. What I tried to do is take the best of negotiation theory and put into an easy framework readers can learn in a couple of hours and use for the rest of their lives.
The original vision for this book was to customize parts of it for different negotiation contexts such as leadership, sales, management, dispute resolution, contracts, etc. It became clear this level of customization would be too much for a single volume. The vision now is to follow this book with more specialized negotiation books in these areas.
Hopefully, this can become a series of books that take these skills into the specific contexts in which people negotiate.
In his classic work Rhetoric (4th century BCE), Aristotle introduces his concept of four levels of discourse. I was reminded of that as I read your book. I think high-impact negotiation makes effective use of each level: EXPOSITION to explain with information, DESCRIPTION to make vivid with compelling details, NARRATION to explain a sequence, and ARGUMENTATION to convince with evidence and/or logic. What do you think?
Aristotle’s genius in persuasive communication is definitely at the core of modern day negotiation theory and practice. Aristotle’s four levels of discourse reminds us that sequencing is important. The same is true for negotiation. In the book, I provide a preparation checklist and a preparation tool for the readers. With both of these tools, the sequencing of the preparation is critical to success.
In addition, Aristotle’s ethos (credibility), pathos (emotions), and logos (reasoning) serve as a foundation for the content in the book. For example, most of decision making is based on emotion rather than logic or reasoning. Think about all the times you or I have accused someone of “just not making any sense.”
Well, they don’t make sense, because in that moment they are driven by pathos (emotions) not logos (reasoning).
But, as Aristotle argues, it is the combination of all three that will make an orator persuasive. The same is true for negotiators. The key is knowing when to establish your credibility, when to play to the other’s emotions, or when to lay out a well-reasoned argument. These are great tools to sharpen and be ready to use when negotiating.
In your opinion, which of the material in your book would be of greatest value to those involved in a brainstorming session?
It is the roadmap to resolution. This is a blueprint for brainstorming. The key is solving the right problem. Therefore, one must explore the other’s parties internal problems to understand the right problem to solve. For example, I often tell a story about a city wanting to buy the house of an elderly lady to develop a new community theatre. The city hired a real estate agent who attempted to complete the transaction using formal offers of money. This process led him to offer significantly more money than the house was worth, but he still couldn’t get the deal done because the problem he needed to solve had nothing to do with money. The city eventually fired that realestate agent and hired a new one who immediately withdrew all the offers on the home.
The new real estate agent asked questions and explored the lady’s interests. He learned about her desire to get into a smaller house that was easy to maintain, but also discovered her reluctance to leave this home because it was where she raised her kids and made a great life with her late husband. He then started a brainstorming process with the lady on the perfect living situation for her going forward. They concluded she would need a new house. He found a few options for her to consider and in a matter of weeks she was under contract on a new home. At the closing, the lady mentioned that she didn’t need two houses and suggested the real estate agent call the city to see if it
was still interested in buying her house. Not surprisingly, the city was eager to purchase her house.
What I love about this story is the new real estate agent made not one, but two commissions on this deal. He got the deal done because he understood the lady’sinterests and began the brainstorming session based on those interests. Brilliant!
What are the most valuable lessons to be learned from the “Miracle on the Hudson,” discussed in Chapter Eleven?
The Miracle on the Hudson teaches us several important lessons about preparation, decision making, and leadership. Each of these skills are important for negotiators.
First, Captain Sully was prepared for the process. He wasn’t prepared for the problem. Captain Sully had never practiced landing on a moving river. There is no flight simulator that is configured for landing on a body of water. He had never practiced it. Nevertheless, he was prepared. Once he realized he was experiencing a potentially catastrophic in-flight emergency his training took over. He was prepared to communicate with air traffic control, the first officer, and the flight crew. He was also prepared to make decisive decisions knowing that was his role as “captain.” Finally, he was prepared to work his emergency process despite the fear he was facing. His
preparation on the process is a lesson for negotiators and had much to do with the successful outcome of that fateful flight.
Second, he was ready to make decisions and take action. His instinct and years of experience as a pilot was his key decision making tool. He didn’t have time to run a model to see if he could get the plane back to LaGuardia. Instead, he determined very quickly the altitude and air speed were not sufficient to get the plane to an airport. He immediately began looking for other options and the closest thing he could find that looked like a runway in Manhattan was the Hudson River.
Negotiators also find themselves having to make decisions in the face of fear, uncertainty, and a lack of information. Captain Sully kept his cool, processed the information available, and ultimately made the right decision.
Finally, Captain Sully demonstrated exceptional leadership in the moment. He had incredible vision. He skillfully landed the plane next to the USS Intreprid Museum because he knew there was a ferry terminal adjacent to it, which would decrease the response time for boats to rescue people out of the frigid water. He also never stopped exploring ideas and options. You can hear him ask the first officer about 10 seconds before impact, “Got any ideas?”
As the leader, he turned into a great follower when his role changed. Once he gave the order to evacuate the plane, it was the crew that was now in charge. He left that cockpit in a support role helping the crew succeed in safely evacuating the aircraft.
Each of these lessons are important for negotiators. Our success in difficult situations will also depend on how well we prepare for the moment, make decisions, and lead others to mutually beneficial agreements.
I understand that a “win-win” resolution is desirable but is it imperative?
A win-win is definitely desirable, but it isn’t always achievable. There are many people just looking for their win and really don’t care if you achieve a win or not. The key is evaluating the relationship. If the relationship is important to both sides, the win-winapproach is more likely to be successful. In addition, a win-win outcome will advance the relationship. If the relationship is not important to one or both sides, there will be less motivation to achieve a win-win outcome. In these situations, it is important not to get exploited. You may want to be cooperative, but you will need to be competitive to ensure you are not on the losing side of a win-lose outcome.
What are the most important dos and don’ts to keep in mind when engaged in “competitive negotiation”?
Competitive negotiation is very predictable and lends itself nicely to a list of dos and don’ts.
Dos
1. Make an ambitious opening offer knowing it is the most influential move in the entire process.
2. Make concessions knowing the process will usually end at the midpoint of the first two reasonable offers.
3. Create a hypothetical negotiation by using the word “If” to know the value you will get in return for your concession. Example: If I increase my order to five units today, will you discount the price on each unit another 10%?
Don’ts
1. Don’t be cooperative when the other side is competitive. You will lose!
2. Don’t short circuit the dance. With savvy negotiators on the other side, you will pay for the time you save.
3. Don’t be surprised if tension increases between you and your counterpart. This process is hard on relationships.
Which biases create the most serious problems when preparing for a formal negotiation? How so?
The most serious problem created when preparing to negotiate is the desire to avoid conflict in the negotiation. People give away a ton of value before even making the opening offer because they fear the other side will not react well to an ambitious offer and it will negatively impact the negotiation. If you feel your opening offer is ambitious, then make it soft. What about…? Based on what I know, I’m thinking…These soft approaches to an opening offer will enable you to recover if your offer is completely out of line and doesn’t get the negotiation launched well. The key is to test the offer by actually delivering it. In many instances, your ambitious opening offer will
get the negotiation started and you will be on your way to a great deal.
What advice do you have for parents who are often involved in negotiations with their teenage children?
Negotiating with teenagers is difficult. I have two teenagers in my house. They are both good negotiators! My advice to parents is to transition from positions. Use influence, not power. Let’s use curfew as an example. The teenager wants to stay out until midnight, but curfew is normally 11:00pm. As the parent, you can certainly lay down the law and demand that the teenager be home no later than 11:00 pm. My guess is you will probably get resistance and create some tension in the household.
Instead of just creating a position and enforcing it, parents are well served to explore the interests of the teenager by asking open-ended questions. What do you plan to do between 11:00pm and 12:00am? Who will you be with? Where will you be? How can I be sure you are safe and making good decisions? After seeking to understand the interests of your teenager, it is important to communicate your interests to them. I find that teenagers actually understand and appreciate the concerns of parents when it comes to safety, making good choices, avoiding bad situations, hanging it out with good people, etc. Once the interests have been laid out, seek to honor them as best as you can. Let the teenager know that you have listened and then make a decision with the teenager based on the interests, not just a position. This process will be much more effective with the teenager regardless of the outcome of the decision.
Any advice for those teenagers?
Teenagers need to understand that most parents like to say “yes.” The best thing to do is to build up trust with your parents through your choices, activities, and friends. Keep your parents informed. Increase levels of communication. Ask your parents how you can make them more comfortable as you spend more time with friends and away from the house. This trust will be the bedrock of the freedom you seek to achieve as a teenager.
In your opinion, which of the material you provide in Negotiation Made Simple will be most valuable to those now preparing for a career in business or who have only recently embarked on one? Please explain.
Transition from positions. Focusing on people’s interests, rather than their positions will make you a better negotiator and a more successful businessperson. Knowing your customer’s, employee’s, or colleagues’ needs and being creative in responding to them will set you apart in your business career.
To the owner/CEOs of small-to-midsize companies? Please explain.
Ambitious competition. I am the CEO of a small business and it is great fun. The key to success is figuring out how to get more with less. One of the best ways to do this is simply ask for it in the negotiation process. I love the story of a small technology firm who instructed its sales team to ask for 10% more on each project. The sales team resisted and feared it would hurt the company’s volume of business. But, the executives asked them to move forward with the higher pricing anyway. The company captured 3% growth in the following quarter just because they asked for it!
To C-level executives in Fortune 500 companies?
Empathy. I believe this is key to effective corporate leadership today. In Negotiation Made Simple, I tell the story of Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella who implemented a learning culture. He described it as a “learn-it-all” approach to leadership as opposed to a “know-it-all” approach. The focus was building deeper empathy for customers around their unmet needs. Through this learn-it-all approach he transformed Microsoft and during his first four years as CEO the stock price nearly tripled. C-level executives can take this same approach to negotiation. In many cases, the C-level executive has the power in a negotiation. However, a learn-it-all approach can trigger
something that is more valuable for leadership than power – influence.
Which question had you hoped to be asked during this interview – but weren’t – and what is your response to it?
“How can negotiation help people through the conflict that is inherent in business and in life?”
Great relationship are the result of successful negotiation. As my father likes to say, “Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to deal with conflict efficiently, effectively, and respectfully.” In every relationship, both personal and professional, there will be conflict. The healthy relationships will involve negotiating through it in a way that delivers satisfaction for all involved. But, there is a secret to satisfaction. It involves the process, the people, AND the problem. Unsophisticated negotiators focus mainly on them problem. Savvy negotiators know the opportunity for creating satisfaction most often lies in the process and the people. If you utilize an effective and strategic process and treat people really well, it is amazing how many problems can get resolved without damaging a relationship.
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