Working for a highly critical boss can feel like operating under a microscope. Every task, no matter how small, seems to invite scrutiny. Meetings sometimes feel like inquisitions and you spend your days hearing more about what’s going wrong than what’s going right.

While some difficult managers can be challenging due to their mood swings, lack of clarity, or unpredictability, highly critical leaders create an atmosphere of consistent, pervasive negativity. This can cause you to walk on eggshells, fearful of making mistakes, and leave you second-guessing your decisions and interactions.

For deep-thinking and feeling professionals who invest a lot of emotional energy into their work (those I call sensitive strivers), working for this type of leader can be particularly draining. Many internalize their manager’s negative feedback as a sign that they are inept or incapable. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Often, someone’s critical nature has more to do with their own insecurities, bad experiences that have made them overly cautious, or a need to maintain control.

While understanding this is helpful, continuously trying to diagnose the complex motivations behind a manager’s criticism can be a never-ending and ultimately unproductive task. Instead, it’s much more beneficial to focus on how you can navigate working for this type of person in a way that makes your life less stressful.

Managing up to a highly critical boss doesn’t mean abandoning your own judgment or simply following their orders. Rather, it’s about proactively taking control of your interactions and taking steps to reduce the emotional toll their behavior has on you.

[Here’s the first step.]

View feedback as engagement

Feedback means your boss is paying attention to your work, not disinterested in your projects and performance — even if they have a frustrating way of showing it. When you see your manager’s criticism as a sign that they’re invested in your work, it becomes easier to extract valuable insights from their comments. Their delivery might not be ideal, but they care enough about your development to provide input. If your boss didn’t care, they might not even bother taking the time to correct you or offer guidance.

To embrace this shift in perspective, try separating tone from content. Do your best to mentally strip away the emotional charge from your manager’s words. Imagine the feedback being delivered in a neutral tone. For instance, transform, “This report is totally unacceptable” to “There are issues that need to be addressed.” This helps you concentrate on the substance rather than the (unhelpful) style.