How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated for the Next Generation of Leaders
Dale Carnegie
Simon & Schuster (May 2022)

“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.” Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1936. This is only the second time the material in it has been updated, this time under the supervision of Carnegie’s daughter Donna. I am always amused when I hear someone denigrate authors of the bestselling “self-help” books such as Richard Carlson, Dale Carnegie, Paulo Coelho, Stephen Covey, Louise L. Hay, Napoleon Hill, Spencer Johnson, Robert T. Kiosaki, James Redfield, and Norman Vincent Peale. Millions of copies of their books are purchased each year, decades after most of their authors died. That indicates (at least to me) that the material provided in these “classics” has trans-generational appeal. Millions of people insist that the information, insights, and counsel are timely…and timeless.

That said, self-help classics such as Carnegie’s are essentially worthless if those who read them are unwilling and/or unable to APPLY EFFECTIVELY what they have learned. This book has helped millions of people since it was first published in 1936. Readers deserve praise for what they achieved but Carnegie shares the credit for their personal growth and professional development. He and the material in this book activated their self-motivation…and they can do the same for you if (HUGE “if”) you embrace the challenge. Henry Ford once said this about having the right attitude about success, however defined: “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re probably right.”

Most personal limits are self-imposed. Many people become “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” They lack whatever self-confidence they once possessed.  They need to be convinced that they can — REALLY CAN — “win friends and influence people” if someone explains how. (They already understand the WHY.) Few people know that young Carnegie based his observations and suggestions on his own struggles.

These are among the strategic objectives that the Carnegie book –as well as the training programs based on it — can help people to achieve:

o Build on their self-confidence and personal leadership competence.
o Strengthen their skills in relating to others and build inclusivity within their organization.
o Enhance their skills to communicate logically, clearly, and concisely. Energize and engage their listeners. And listen with empathy.
o Develop leadership skills to take charge of their lives, be more flexible and innovative, inspire others, and motivate others to action.
o Empower themselves to control attitudes and reduce stress so they can be at their optimum best.

Here’s my favorite insight among dozens that have guided and informed my behavior since I completed a Dale Carnegie Training course in Chicago during my junior year of high school: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

And here is a point whose importance cannot be exaggerated: Even if you had Dale Carnegie as your personal mentor, available full-time (24/7), he would have little (if any) impact on your personal growth and professional development unless and until you are TOTALLY COMMITTED to achieving both. They are interdependent.

So, are you all in or will you continue to live in the world of Woulda/Coulda/Shoulda, assuming little (if any) responsibility for the results of your efforts, the consequences of your decisions and non-decisions?

How about it? The choice is yours. It always was and always will be.