How to Get Along with Anyone: The Playbook for Predicting and Preventing Conflict at Work and Home
John Eliot and Jim Guinn
Simon & Schuster (February 2025)      

Here are “the ingredients for immunity to conflict kryptonite”  

Conflict and pressure are either positive or negative. If not managed effectively, they can produce severe stress. John Eliot and Jim Guinn have written a playbook that will enable you to prevent conflict at work and at home. As they explain, the material in Section I will “arm you with tools to better understand your own style [of preventing and resolving conflict]  and the styles of those around you. Central to this process, we’ll supply you with a formula for identifying your coworkers– whether they are Avlpoidxers, Comnpewtitiors, Analyzeras, Collaborators, or Accomodators (or whether they are multi-styled, as is someone who’s an Accomnnodator around their boss but an Avoider in home situations). You’ll then learn how to use this knowledge to foster great communication and great relationships, designing a bullet-proof conflict vest for yourself.”

“In Section II we’ll point a microscope at the Five Personality Styles, uncovering the inner workings of each h. Once you have leg up on knowing how a friend or foe responds when their buttons are pushed — to avoid, compete, analyze, collaborate or accommodate [the primary response drivers] — what’s your next move? What should you do next to guide an otherwise sour interaction down a productive path? Leaning on real-world work and family situations, the second half of this book will walk you through the blueprints for thriving in your interactions with each Conflict Personality Style.”

Think of Eliot and Guinn as cutting-edge thinkers who have conducted and concluded wide and deep research (see Pages 237-263) in order to answer this question: “How best to predict and prevent and/or resolve and eliminate the causes of conflict at  work and elsewhere?”

These are among the subjects of greatest interest and value to me, also listed to indicate the  nature and scope of Eliot and Guinn’s coverage:

o Identify the Trigger (Pages 3-30)
o Conflict Types (5-12)
o Predict Behavior (31-61)
o Get to the Underlying Interest (63-84)
o The Art of Active Listening (67-76)

o Defuse Emotion (85-106)
o The Voice Technique (92-104)
o Play the Player (107-129)
o Leading Questions (118-126)
o The Avoider (133-149)

o The Competitor (151-169)
o The Analyzer (171-189)
o The Collaborator (191-208)
o Little Red Riding Hood Meets J, Edgar Hoover (202-277)
o The Accommodator (209-277)

As the annotated “Notes” section (Pages 237-250) and “Works Cited” list on Pages 251-263) clearly indicate, How to Get Along with Anyone is a research-driven book. Eliot and Guinn also draw heavily upon wide and deep professional as well as personal experience when providing an abundance of information, insights, and counsel.

Here is their concluding admonition: “But most of all: be like the best version of yourself — that you who values understanding others, who recognizes that conflict elicits distinct t patterns of emotionally driven behavior. Be the you who seizes this opportunity for performance enhancement AND relationship strengthening!”

After all, as Jack Sparrow suggests, “Why fight…when you can negotiate?”

* * *

Will this book help you to get along with ANYONE? Probably not.

With more people than you usually do? Probably.

With some of the people you did not get along with before? Perhaps.

If you carefully absorb and digest the material provided by John Eliot and Jim Guinn, this book can help you to get along MUCH better with yourself. Only then can your relationships with others improve.