How to Defuse Difficult People

HBR Tip

Here is another valuable Management Tip of the Day from Harvard Business Review. To sign up for a free subscription to any/all HBR newsletters, please click here.

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Dealing with tough personalities can make you feel powerless.

What can you do if your client is a being a jerk or your colleague is criticizing your presentation? You can improve the situation by doing three things:

o Shift the attention. Focus on your own feelings. Say something like, “I feel terrible because I know this meeting is critical and I really believe in my proposal.” This helps you to keep the criticism external so you can respond thoughtfully.

o Respond with a non-judgmental observation. Attacking back only escalates the situation. A statement like the one above disarms the other person and often he’ll back off.

o Ask a thoughtful question. For example, if a client keeps taking calls during your presentation you might say, “I know you’re busy — is there a reason I’m not capturing your attention?” A question helps the other person become more aware of his behavior, and he might change it.

Today’s Management Tip was adapted from “Defuse Difficult People” by Nina Godiwalla.

To read that article and join the discussion, please click here.

Also, you may wish to check out Management Tips from Harvard Business Review by clicking here.

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