In HBR Guide to Office Politics, published by Harvard Business Review Press 2014), Karen Dillon offers an abundance of information, in sights, and counsel that can help almost anyone to rise above rivalry, avoid power games, and build better relationships, not only at work but in all other dimensions of their lives.

o Question your reaction: When people appear to be playing political games, we often think we know their motives, but sometimes we’re off the mark. Step back and reevaluate: What else could be driving the behavior? Maybe it’s not as vengeful as it seems — or even intentional.

o Try removing yourself from the equation: Everybody brings her own quirks, worries, and stresses to work. What you assume is a personal attack may have absolutely noting to do with you.

o Accept that not all conflict is bad: Great performance can come out of being challenged by an aggressive colleague or being forced to collaborate with someone you can’t stand. We can and often do rise to challenges. Don’t assume ‘uncomfortable’ means bad.”

o Keep your cool: Office bullies and other game players win every time they see they’ve rattled you. Never give them that satisfaction — you’ll just perpetuate the problem. Stay composed, and they’ll lose their power.

Karen Dillon concludes: “So what’s the main takeaway, if I had to boil it down to one? As organizational development and HR expert Susan Heathfield puts it, don’t try to be the boss’s pet — be [begin italics] everyone’s [end italics] pet. That is, devote your energy to being a terrific employee and colleague. You’ll find that you’re less preoccupied with all the jockeying that’s going on around you– and more focused on positive pursuits like performance, growth, and fulfillment.”

Oscar Wilde suggests, “Be yourself. Every one else is taken.”

To which I add, “Be your best self and become even better each day.” Those who play politics are unwilling and/or unable to. That is your decisive competitive advantage.

Karen Dillon is the co-author of New York Times best-seller, How Will You Measure Your Life? (HarperCollins, May 2012), which she wrote with Harvard Business School Professor and best-selling author Clayton Christensen. Dillon was the editor of Harvard Business Review (HBR), arguably the most influential management magazine in the world, until 2011. She helped lead a major redesign of the publication during her tenure, and the magazine was twice honored as a finalist for the National Magazine Awards.

To learn more about her, please click here.