In his book, Promote Yourself: The New Rules for Career Success, published by St. Martin’s Press (September 2013), Dan Schawbel provides a wealth of information, insights, and counsel for those who have no clear career roadmap and are willing to invest time and effort to advance their career.

Here are “The Five Rules of Relationship Building” (169-171). “You absolutely must follow them if you want your relationship to succeed (and yes, you can use these rules in your dating life as well). I presume to add this insight from Keith Ferrazzi in Never Eat Alone: “The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.”

1. Targeting: You need to be very specific about the people you build [or attempt to build] relationships with. At the very least, you should have something in common, have some shared interests or concerns, or at least look up to and admire your “target” for professional accomplishments and personal character.

A cliché, yes, but still true: You are known by the company you keep, for better or worse.

2. Mutualism: The people you want to get to know have to get at least as much out of the relationship as you do, if not more. Your goal is a long-term relationship, not a casual acquaintance.

3. Giving: The key to effective networking is to reach out — sincerely — to help others without asking for anything in return. When you do that, others will genuinely want to help you.

4. Being authentic: If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. Keep every promise. Another cliché but still true: Your word is you bond.

5. Reconnecting: Building a relationship is one thing, [begin italics] maintaining [end italics] it is another. Your objective is stay top of mind or close to it. Nourish relationships with sincerity and attentiveness as well as generosity that has no strings attached.

Schawbel discusses all this in much greater detail in the book, concluding with these observations:

“Do one thing every day — add a new skill, share a new idea with your group — that will advance you. Developing this ‘One Step Forward a Day’ habit will keep you current, make you feel more fulfilled and confident, and increase your value. It also will make you more creative and fulfilled when you’re not working. And it will ensure that you do 365 things during the next twelve months to improve yourself.”

Dan Schawbel’s comments remind me of how the new leaders of the LEGO Group saved their company: “one brick at a time.” They also remind me of a proverb from China: “When is the best time to plant a tree? One hundred years ago. When is the next best time? Now.”