Here is another valuable Management Tip of the Day from Harvard Business Review. To sign up for a free subscription to any/all HBR newsletters, please click here.

* * *

Having emotional intelligence, often referred to as EI, is an important part of being a stronger, more effective leader. But too many people assume that it’s all about being sweet and chipper.

Sure, some EI competencies are related to sociability, sensitivity, and likability, but others are connected to leadership skills like achievement, influence, and conflict management.

The key is to have a balance. If you’re strong in some of the softer, emotional skills, then focus on honing skills like giving unpleasant feedback.

For example, rather than using your EI to smooth over interactions with a coworker who is overbearing and abrasive, work on bringing up the issue to your colleague directly, drawing on conflict management to give direct feedback and on emotional self-control to keep your reactivity at bay.

[I presume to add another point I consider to be all-important:  It is imperative for other  people to realize how much you care. If in fact you really don’t, whatever “constructive criticism” you offer will be rejected as self-serving b.s. and should be.]

Adapted from “Emotional Intelligence Has 12 Elements. Which Do You Need to Work On?” by Daniel Goleman and Richard E. Boyatzis

To check out that HBR article and join the discussion, please click here.

Here’s a direct link to dozens of other Management Tips.