I recently worked with an executive who had been asked to lead a major change initiative in her company. Although she was well known and well regarded in her organization, she had given little thought to exactly what she needed from her professional relationships. “I was always mindful of the importance of healthy relationships, but I never invested the time to really think through the mutual value in a relationship or how to achieve it,” she told me.

She then described how developing three traits — a shared relevance, an understanding of the type of relationship needed, and a commitment to pursuing it even when times get tough — shifted how she interacted with her colleagues. “Once we had a common vision of how the relationship was important to us both, it made it much easier to remain intentional — the interactions seemed to just flow more naturally,” she said.

I’ve observed these traits again and again and have seen how powerful leaders use them to cultivate powerful relationships. But doing so takes intentionality and repetition.

Let’s look at these three traits more closely.

[Here are the first two.]

A clear purpose. Our relationships are based on how we are connected, related, and specifically relevant to one another. Rather than leave this open to assumption, leaders must develop the confidence and the skill to discuss and establish a clear basis and intent for their relationships. Having a shared understanding of why the relationship matters provides a critical foundation that can be built upon and used as a touchstone when difficulties inevitably arise.

An understanding of the type of relationship needed. Just as it’s important to recognize that relationships need a clear basis, it’s also important to realize that relationships can take many forms. It’s helpful to think about relationships along a spectrum. On one end of the spectrum are transactional relationships, where a minimum level of interaction, interdependence, or familiarity are at play. As an example, think about stopping into a convenience store to buy a bottle of water or a pack of almonds. You and the cashier both have a minimum set of requirements and expectations. Even if you stop by the same store on a weekly basis, a simple transaction can fulfill the needs of the relationship.

Along the middle of the spectrum are interdependent relationships. These include a higher degree of expectation in areas such as shared goals, shared knowledge, and mutual respect. Examples of interdependent relationships include members of surgical and post-operative care teams or sales engineers and manufacturing teams. In these examples, each side of the relationship depends on the other for individual and mutual success.