Here is a brief excerpt from an article by Jeff Wolf for AMACOM’s amanet.org Playbook. To read the complete article, check out other resources, and sing up for email alerts, please click here.

* * *

Businesspeople learn early in their careers the importance of a firm handshake and making eye contact when meeting other businesspeople for the first time. Both the handshake and eye contact are examples of how nonverbal communication contributes to first impressions.

Murray Johannsen, in an article titled “Nonverbal Communication,” appearing in Legacee online, describes the subtlety of handshakes: “The example from the American culture is the amount of pressure one exerts on the other person’s hand during a handshake. One puts a certain amount of pressure into the handshake, and it should be neither too much nor too little. Another aspect of this is, when grasping another’s hand, the web of your hand intersects the web of their hand.”

If a handshake can communicate so much, that’s indicative of the need to pay attention to all areas of nonverbal communication. The question then becomes: How do you improve your nonverbal communication skills as you listen to and speak with others?

[Here are the first three steps of the process.]

Step 1: Watch yourself . . . and others. When communicating, focus on the use of your body. The goal is to increase the expressive nature of your body, when appropriate, without being overdramatic. Be aware that gestures are often more useful with groups, such as in meetings and presentations. If a person’s words fail to match his or her nonverbal cues, it‘s best to trust the nonverbal messages. Listen with your eyes. In most cases, the nonverbal message is more accurate.

Step 2: Maintain eye contact. Eye contact is crucial when speaking with anyone, particularly coworkers, superiors, or direct reports. It promotes trust and understanding. Try to increase eye contact when speaking with others, and see if they‘re making and maintaining eye contact with you. If someone avoids eye contact, you‘ll likely sense the person‘s discomfort or dishonesty. You can ease another‘s discomfort by asking questions that enhance communication.

Step 3: Work on your posture. Your mother emphasized the need to stand up straight and avoid slouching in your chair. As it turns out, Mom was giving you your first lesson in nonverbal communication. Posture is a nonverbal indicator of confidence level.

A gesture conveys a message by using one part of the body, whereas a postural shift involves the movement of the body as a whole. A closed posture (folded arms and crossed legs) indicates a closed personality and a lack of confidence. Open posture (arms spread in a relaxed manner) is a much more confident pose. Posture should also be in sync with conversations so you avoid sending mixed messages. When you’re sitting behind your desk or at a meeting table, sit up straight. Don’t slump; it conveys disinterest and inattention. Leaning back, or rocking back and forth in your chair, tells others you‘re bored. In contrast, leaning forward in your chair when listening to someone speak demonstrates active interest in both the person and conversation.

* * *

None of these seven steps should ever be taken for granted. True, some people are more aware of slight distinctions of nonverbal communications than others, but everybody can learn to use the six steps and thereby make dramatic improvements in their ability to communicate effectively with others.

* * *

Here is a direct link to the complete article.

An abundance of research indicates that, during face-to-face contact, more than 80% of the impact is determined by body language and tone of voice; less than 20% by what is said. Hmmm….

Jeff Wolf is one of America’s foremost executive business coaches, speakers and management consultants. Prestigious Leadership Excellence magazine named him one of the “Top 100 Thought Leaders” for his accomplishments in leadership development, managerial effectiveness and organizational productivity. His strategic focus on solving corporate and human issues has garnered continuing raves from myriad global organizations.

His latest book is Seven Disciplines of A Leader, published by John Wiley & Sons (November 2014).