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Good Leaders Lose with Grace

Here is an excerpt from an article written by Tim Leberecht for Harvard Business Review and the HBR Blog Network. To read the complete article, check out the wealth of free resources, obtain subscription information, and receive HBR email alerts, please click here.

Credit: Tim Macpherson/ Getty Images

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Leaders – whether in politics or business – are understandably focused on winning. To come out on top is an inherent human desire; it shows we have impact and yields both financial and psychological rewards. Countless management books preach about how to win customers, form winning teams, and beat the competition. Losing – control, face, status, job, power, wealth – remains anathema.

However, as this past presidential election cycle has shown us, leaders do need to learn how to lose graciously. Persistence is laudable but only up to a point. As a society, and especially in business, we must not just tolerate but embrace losses as experiences that can prompt change and growth. We need to build workplaces where you can lose without being considered a “loser.”

Here are four ways that leaders can demonstrate how to lose well:

Change your field of competition. Consider the politician, lawyer, and voting rights activist Stacey Abrams. After her defeat in the 2018 Georgia gubernatorial election, she could have tried to run for office again herself. Instead, she decided to redouble her voter registration efforts to help other Democrats, including Joe Biden, Jon Ossoff and Raphael Warnock, win their races, fundamentally reshaping the power balance in U.S. politics. Staying true to her mission rather than seeking personal recognition, Abrams re-oriented herself and won a perhaps more consequential victory in a different arena.

In business, Slack is a great example. Founder Stewart Butterfield and his team initially set out to build a massive, multiplayer video game called Glitch. When the project failed to gain traction, they pivoted to turn the internal communications tool they had built into a product instead. It became Slack, and was acquired by Salesforce last year for $27.7 billion.

Play to play. If you enjoy what you do and are working toward a purpose, you’ll care a lot less about who “wins” and “loses.” To understand this idea, it is helpful to review James P. Carse’s definition of “finite and infinite games.” Finite games end when someone wins, while infinite games go on forever because they are played for the sake of playing.

Leaders who play infinite games – defined by a sense of mission, a unique culture, and a cohesive team – are the ones who truly inspire. Take Ignacio S. Galán, the CEO of Spanish electric utility company Iberdrola, which made an early move to renewable energy and wants others to do the same.  Of course, Galán wants his company to grow faster than its competitors, but he also doesn’t mind if they copy Iberdrola’s strategy because he believes it will be better for society if they do. For him, protecting the environment is the infinite game. As he wrote in HBR, “Climate change has become a climate emergency, and we need everyone on board to fight it.”

Be willing to fail fast – or slow. Start-up culture led us to recognize the value of failing “fast” or “forward” in the name of risk-taking and entrepreneurship. There are now public get-togethers, where people share stories of professional failures.

But let’s not forget that losing can be agonizingly slow, with some heartbreak involved, and opportunity costs mounting up. When that happens to an individual, team, or organization, we need to make space for the associated emotions, including frustration and sorrow. This ensures greater psychological safety, which boosts collaboration, innovation, and productivity, paving the way to a strong recovery. Moreover, a study found that sad leaders often achieve better outcomes than angry leaders. Acknowledgement of negative emotions can also lead to more fruitful performance reviews; in an atmosphere where people feel free to not excel at all times, at every task, people might actually have more meaningful conversations that further personal and professional development.

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Here is a direct link to the complete article.

Tim Leberecht is the co-founder and co-CEO of the House of Beautiful Business and the author of The Business Romantic: Give Everything, Quantify Nothing, and Create Something Greater Than Yourself  (HarperCollins, 2015).

 

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